Last weekend I had a commissioning service at Mariners, my church in Gloucester. It made my heart swell with joy, to be with this family of God and realise that they are sending me out with love to be their arm in Thailand. There was so much rejoicing, and I felt fat with prayer I'd received from such loving hearts. There was unity, and where there is unity, God commands a blessing. That blessing was felt in the tangible presence of the Holy Spirit during worship. I was anointed with oil - I wasn't so keen at first, as I saw my pastor coming towards me with the oil in his hand - but the fresh infilling of the Spirit that it came with quickly changed that! ;) It was a symbol of his blessing, his anointing, his empowering.
"So Samuel took the horn of oil and anointed him in the presence of his brothers, and from that day on the Spirit of the LORD came powerfully upon David." 1 Sam 16:13
After the service there was a bring and share lunch. It felt like a party! Thankfully I will see most of these precious friends one more time, but the prospect of goodbyes already makes my heart ache. After that we visited a dear friend, who I probably won't see now for at least 2 years. The hole in my heart started to open up. People keep asking me how it feels, am I nervous or excited? Excited, I say. Only each time I think about the goodbyes to come, the hole opens up again. This weekend will involve seeing my brother for the last time before I go. Just the thought is painful.
But the Lord is showing me how to cope...
1. I am in the centre of his will. He is with me. This is all for him, and with him. And where he is, there is fullness of joy. So he says to me, keep your eyes on Me.
2. He reminds me, it's not goodbye forever. Eternity awaits us - an eternity of fun times together, a party with the angels in the glory of God's presence, with all our dear siblings in Christ. We are citizens of heaven... we dance to a different drum. And the reason I am going is to invite others to the party.
3. And finally, while I was writing this, I heard this song by Third Day. Have a listen - it is powerful.
"Just to be with you, I've done everything
There's no price I did not pay
Just to be with you, I gave everything
Yes, I gave my life away."
Jesus said the hardest goodbye, to take on flesh and live as one of us. He suffered incomprehensible anguish of separation from his Father, when he took our place on the cross. And he suffers still, from the pain of separation from many of his beloved children.
So.... Surely it is a privilege to go for him, to say a few goodbyes for a short time, if I can even tell one person of the Father's love song to them. There will still be tears. There will still be a heart full of holes. But Jesus is always enough. I like what a friend at Mariners said : FAITH means Father's Always In The House.
