What does it mean to be children of a God who is, in His very essence, Love?
We are called to be His ambassadors. How he trusts us with this ridiculously awesome privilege baffles me continually. Despite my total inadequacy and frequent failures to represent this God of love, He still chooses to use me.
Too often I come to the realisation that I have been loving people with my own love, and not the Father’s. My love has mixed motives, wants quick returns, seeks the approval of others, wants to be made much of, falls short and runs out. His never does. Father, help me to love them with your love.
What do I know of Calvary love? How deeply have I received it, to be able to give it to others?
This month in Thai class we have been studying social problems. We have talked about the corruption rife at every level of government making bribery commonplace and policing a joke; the ‘madness drug’ Yaba, a dangerous methamphetamine marketed to children and used widely among young people; the lure of prostitution as University students will do anything to get the new iPhone 6; the poverty mentality which subverts charity (eg. slum dwellers are given a house by the government under a ‘rent to buy’ scheme. But they sell their house to rich landowners, and then rent it from them, because present gains always take precedence over future investment). There was much more than this little taster, more than enough to give up hope of things ever changing. Then there are disappointments with the state of the local church, which I know will never be perfect, but does need to be purified. 
Here in Isaan, and equally at home where you are, when social problems seem beyond hope and spiritual darkness pervades in the lives all around us, to love is to hope, and keep on hoping.
‘If I cannot catch “the sound of noise of rain” (1Kings 18:41) long before the rain falls, and, going to some hilltop of the spirit, as near to my God as I can, have not faith to wait there with my face between my knees, though six times or sixty times I am told “there is nothing,” till at last “there arises a little cloud out of the sea,” then I know nothing of Calvary love.’
This excerpt comes from Amy Carmichael’s little booklet, ‘If’, which I am reading at the moment. It reminds me to not grow weary of being expectant. I often find that sharing hope is painful; because the One I love the most, Love Himself, who deserves all worship, and is the author of all joy; when encountered by deaf ears and hard hearts, is usually met with apathy and sometimes with opposition. Still Calvary love keeps on loving.
‘If I do not look with eyes of hope on all in whom there is even a faint beginning, as our Lord did, when, just after His disciples had wrangled about which of them should be accounted the greatest, He softened His rebuke with those heart-melting words, “You are those who have stood by me in my trials” then I know nothing of Calvary love.’
As the chorus goes:
“Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.”
He is the God of Hope. It is only by setting, and resetting, and resetting again my gaze on Him, that the hopelessness, darkness and disappointments of this world grow dim, permeated by His hope. Because He is risen, I have hope. Because I do not serve a god made of stone or gold, of human hands, but the Creator of all things.
Even an eternal optimist like me can sometimes hear a smirking voice saying, "The Kingdom of God in Isaan? You're hoping...!”
Yes, I am. Because of Jesus, I am hope-full.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Rom 15:13)
PS. I can't recommend it highly enough: Amy Carmichael's booklet, 'If' is a free PDF download at http://steppinginthelight.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/if-amy-carmichael.pdf
