Saying no to #FOMO

We make thousands of choices everyday, and some can be downright hard: Apple crumble or cheesecake? Custard or cream?! For those of us prone to minor FOMO, 'What ifs' can be hard to live with. When I'm faced with a crossroads (we're talking bigger than pudding choices now!) I can often see the risks and the potential in either choice. And then I struggle to choose, an internal battle ensues... I can develop a case of major FOMO.

But when you think about it, who doesn't. Under control, it can actually be a drive to try new things, push the boat out. If it controls you, it can be paralysing. FOMO says whatever you choose, you will miss out on something else. And the imagined loss of whatever you feel like you may miss out on, if it's attached to a deep value, can create a sense of hopelessness. Things can seem really bleak, even though the reality is, nothing bad has actually yet happened. That's the power of fear, and it's deceptive nature reeks of its master. Because in the muddle of fear, we lose sight of hope.

A dear friend reminded me that HOPE grows out of soaking in who God is, and in experiences of His kindness. And FAITH is "confidence in the kindness of God despite the circumstances" (Ann Voskamp). Faith building, then, is looking for His kindness. And if we can just lift our eyes off our feelings and look, really look for His fingerprints, we find we have an infinitely good, kind Father.

In time, and it often does take time, I make my choice in faith. I walk through the door it seems God is opening, resisting the temptation of pushing another one open. I'm tentative at first; courage is not the absence of fear but taking action despite it. I know the costs well at this stage, the risks are real, whatever I choose. There has been soul-searching, wrestling prayer.

Continually choosing to surrender my tangle of thoughts, I determine in my heart that God is God, and I am not. (Why are the simplest truths usually the most profound and the hardest to live out?) That He is in control, and He is going to use my choice to work out his good purposes.

And in this 'simple' acknowledgement, quietly, the battle against FOMO is won today. I know I will have to say it again tomorrow, but I'm celebrating each step.

I Will Not Die an Unlived Life
~ By Dawna Markova (2008)

I will not die an unlived life 
I will not live in fear 
of falling or catching fire. 
I choose to inhabit my days, 
to allow my living to open me, 
to make me less afraid, 
more accessible, 
to loosen my heart 
until it becomes a wing, 
a torch, a promise. 
I choose to risk my significance; 
to live so that which came to me as seed 
goes to the next as blossom 
and that which came to me as blossom, 
goes on as fruit.

This stunning poem is such a gift to me, reminding me to live and make my choices with passion and on purpose, not out of fear. I am sure I'm not on my own here with my FOMO issues. If you relate, and have a story of how you overcame it, do share it in the comments.