Starting again, again

One of the most stressful experiences ever... so they say about this house moving ordeal. 

But I’ve done it 20 times before… So why is this time so hard? 

I’d said my goodbyes well, cried and prayed through it all

Packed my life into umpteen boxes, even read about handling transition.

Moving day came and the boxes were loaded. Furniture covered to keep off rain. 

As a team family we drove in convoy to our new homes. Anticipation. Trepidation. 

As we pulled in, "What is that stink?

Let’s hope it’s temporary!" we said.

In we went, finding the house swept clean

But the kitchen ceiling on the floor.

My heart sank as I mentally listed

All the issues I had to get fixed

This would be no easy unpacking

No hitting the ground running. 

"I can't do this", I cried 

I'm not the living alone kind."

I was thankful for friends and their help

But dreaded the goodbyes to come. 

Workmen came and went

It got worse and then better,

Then worse, then better

I wonder what the new normal is.

Apparently Satan wasn't happy 

sniping at our heels

With a stinking house, a collapsed ceiling

and to top it off, a scratched car.

As dear friends went back home

My emotions tooks a battering 

I'm so grateful for team

A family who will stay

I know I am flexible, I usually adapt well. 

But I left a full schedule of work and fun

To knowing no-one and living alone… 

and this time for the long haul. 

Whom do I trust?  And how do I talk? 

Where do I buy shelves; and when will this end?

It's just the beginning, I remind myself. Another beginning. 

And Father who was Lord in Ubon, He is still Lord in Sangkha. 

When He calls me to do hard things, He supplies the strength. 

When my heart is fearful and shaky, His love is steadfast. 

Nope, I definitely can't do this on my own.
Not I but Christ within me, the hope of glory. 

Neither can I do it as the Nam I was before. 

I need Him much more than ever before.
I need to go deeper. To seek harder. 

To find who He wants me to be, in this new beginning.