Growing pains

Life can seem a tangled mess on Earth...

It seems I am always growing… I wonder when I will actually ‘grow up’. I know, growth is a good thing, it means new beginnings and excitement and enlarged capacity. But that involves stretching and growing pains, uncertainty, vulnerability… weakness. I wonder when I will finally feel I’ve arrived. I know the answer and yet it feels like a fresh discovery - the transformation is only complete in heaven. Until then we really are far from home, citizens in a foreign country, where we don’t quite belong.

So why the growing pains? Yes, I want to be more like Jesus. But somehow I would rather bypass the chiselling, because it hurts. The pain is my inner protest because I want to retain control, by having God chisel where I want.

And I'm drawn back to the call I have answered, the call that brings unparalleled joy, eternal purpose and completeness: 

To to worship Him alone. 

To realise that my life no longer belongs to me.

That I no longer sit in the driving seat.

... home is heaven, with no more mess.

That my God is good, He is loving. And He is sovereign. 

That life is NOT about me, it is about Him. 

When everything is going according to my plan, it's easy to trust God. But if we're not careful, we can sometimes wrap the gospel in glitter paper. Yes, we live the resurrection life, the abundant life, we have access to joy and peace which are not of this world. But the fact is, this supernatural fruit is grown through dying daily. 

2 Cor 4:7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned;struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 

The Corinthians believed that adversity was inconsistent with the Spirit-filled Christian life, let alone with the gospel ministry. Paul, on the other hand, maintained that God's power is seen most effectively through ministerial hardship and distress. These are not only growth pains, but death pains in the normal Christian life. While like to sing songs about Surrender, actually doing it is a little more like dying. We like to be in control of our circumstances and operate from a position of strength. But Jesus being Lord of my life means giving up my right to be in control, and ministering from brokenness. It is in our very weakness that the resurrection life of Jesus is revealed.

George Mueller said of his secret of service to God: "There was a day when I died, utterly died: died to George Mueller, his opinions, preferences, tastes and will - died to the world, its approval or censure, died to the approval or blame even of my brethren and friends - and since then I have studied only to show myself approved unto God."* 

I bet it didn't really happen in a day, and we can be sure there was much pain involved. Why do I forget this so often? I can sometimes live and pray and talk as if God is about making me happy. Until God allows growing pains - or more accurately, dying pains. Why? Because death must come before the resurrection. Sorrow before strength. Pain paves the way for the life of power.

Henri Nouwen writes, "To be healed of resentment and move into gratitude requires me to dance - to believe again, even amid my pain, that God will orchestrate and guide my life. The mystery of the dance is that its movements are discovered in taking the steps one by one: some slow, some quick. Some smooth, some not. If all steps on the journey are movements of grace, we can be grateful for every moment we have lived, knowing that all is grace."^

And if once we start to see that all is grace, we can begin to agree with the apostle Paul: 

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Cor 4:16 )

For anyone with whom this strikes a chord, who needs a little perspective and encouragement, here's a fantastic sermon by Steven Furtick in his series #DeathToSelfie

'Just because the Bible says God works all things together for our good, does not mean everything feels good all the time. But it’s often our times of greatest struggle that we can gain the most strength and increase our faith. In the final part of our series #DeathToSelfie, Pastor Steven uses the story of Jacob renaming his son Benjamin to show us that, though there are circumstances in our lives we didn't choose to go through, God has given us the rights to call any circumstance a blessing in His name.'

* from Jesus Driven Ministry by A. Fernando. p82

^ from Spiritual Formation by Henri Nouwen.